A woman who is 35 years old wrote us a letter that was very sad. She talked about how hard it was for her to accept that her husband was mean. He talked about her body odor all the time, which was very bad for her mental health. But she was furious when she learned the real reason he was acting that way. Having learned more about his plan, we completely understand how she feels.
The woman has always had a great marriage to her husband.
Lilly, a woman who recently wrote to us, sounded very desperate about a problem in her family life, which was otherwise very happy. That she and George, her husband, have been happily married for more than ten years. After all this time, she had never seen George act rudely toward her.
Lilly said, “To be honest, our marriage has always been based on strong feelings, a strong desire to be with each other, trust, and mutual respect.” I’ve always thought of my relationship with George as good; it fit my needs perfectly. His love and care for her have always shown in his marriage.
There was one thing, though, that cast a shadow over everything: Lilly and her MIL’s usual fights. It’s been hard for me to get along with my mother-in-law because I don’t like the way she acts. She has always been very bossy and certain of herself, really believing that her opinion is the only one that matters in every situation. She loves getting into other people’s personal lives.
Regardless of the situation, I always tried to get along with her and was polite. We didn’t see each other very often, so it wasn’t too hard. Since George and I live in a different country, she didn’t have many chances to get involved in our lives. In the end, I came to terms with the fact that my MIL would never be like a second mother to me.
It seemed like Lilly’s husband started acting badly out of the blue.
Lilly goes on in her letter to say that her husband’s behavior changed completely about a year ago. “George started making rude comments about my body odor,” she said. There didn’t seem to be a reason—no changes in my health or way of life. Before one day, everything was fine until he started doing it. He would tell me at least once a day that I stink and smell bad.
In talking about the early days of their relationship, Lilly said that she had always taken care of her hygiene. She took a shower every day, put on deodorant every morning, and brushed her teeth three times a day when they first met. Even though nothing had changed, George kept making these mean comments over and over.
“I became so afraid of having body odor that I started showering three times a day,” Lilly said. I started using a strong deodorant every hour, and I even set my phone to remind me. I also started wearing perfume and brushing my teeth five times a day, every time I drank or ate something other than water.
Lilly’s mental health was hurt by what George said.
It can be unpleasant for anyone to be told that they smell bad. The situation is even worse when those rude comments come from someone close to you every day. Lilly had exactly this happen to her, and she admitted it made her feel very upset.
“I thought I was going crazy,” Lilly wrote. I was sure I hadn’t smelled bad during our relationship, and I didn’t think I did then either. But it was clear that my husband didn’t agree. I’ve always been the type to smell my armpits without much fuss. I even saw a doctor, who told me there was nothing wrong with my health.
When things got really bad, I started asking my family and friends to smell my armpits and tell me the truth about whether I had any body odor. I was told I didn’t smell bad at all by everyone. Someone in my family even said I smelled too clean, like I had just left a Lush store.
Lilly found out one day why her husband really thought she smelled bad.
Lilly suddenly found out the truth about her husband’s strange behavior one day. At that point, she was so scared that she wouldn’t even kiss or cuddle George when he said she smelled bad.
Lilly chose to go for a walk in the morning while George stayed home. “I told George I’d be gone for about three hours,” she said. A nice walk seemed like a good idea before I went to see my sister. But after a while, I began to feel sick. I thought it would be best to go home and rest, so about 30 minutes after leaving, I came back. George didn’t expect me to come back so quickly, of course.
Lilly continues her story by saying, “Because I was sick, I went into the house quietly, trying not to make any noise with my keys or anything else.” I had a terrible headache that got worse with every sound. While on a video call with his mother, George didn’t hear me come in. George and Lilly’s mother-in-law were talking very loudly, and it sounded like they were fighting. She didn’t like the loud noises coming from George’s room and wanted to ask him to put on his headphones while he talked. She then realized all of a sudden that they were talking about her.
It was scary for George to tell his mother that he was tired of this “smelly game,” Lilly wrote. He sounded stressed as he said that we had stopped being intimate because he kept smelling my body and I wouldn’t even kiss him anymore. Instead, his mother told him to wait if he wanted to keep me around. She said that George’s dad had done the same thing to her and said it was a foolproof way to keep a woman from leaving. “She’ll feel too low to cheat, be devoted only to you, and always be fresh and clean,” she said about women who stay with one man for life.
Lilly’s mother-in-law was basically telling her son how to keep Lilly by his side by telling him the mean thing that George’s dad had done to her! Lilly thought this was gross and was mad that George would use such an offensive method on her. “George doesn’t know yet that I know everything,” she said. I want to get a divorce, but I want to get back at him first. Many people might not think George’s actions are a good reason to get a divorce, but I can’t picture spending the rest of my life with someone who treats a woman who loves him with such “smelly methods.”
