Wife: Would you kindly assist me tidy the garden?
Do I seem like a gardener, husband?
Sorry, honey. Alright, then fix the bathroom door.
Do I seem like a carpenter, husband?So…
Then the spouse leaves, returning from whence he went to find the door mended and the garden tidy.
I knew my wife would do this on her own, husband!
Wife: I am not it.
So who, husband?
Partner: Our neighbor
Married: How much did you pay him?
Wife: He only offered me two choices, bread or sex.
Espouse: Wife: Do I appear like a bakery? I hope you fed him bread!