“My mother-in-law is only 36 years old, so I’m pretty young.” I had my children when I was young, and I’m lucky that my husband’s job lets me stay at home and take care of them. “My husband and I decided I would focus on homemaking and community service after my kids got a little older,” Susan told us.

I really don’t like my daughter-in-law.

Now, my 23-year-old oldest son just got married. I was happy at first, but then I met his wife, Carla. She’s straight-forward and focused on business, and I have a hard time connecting with her. I’ve been trying to be nice for the sake of my son, even though it hurts me.

A few times it bothered me, like when I held a dinner party and she only thanked my husband for the delicious food, as if I hadn’t done anything. She also put down my hobbies by saying they aren’t important since they don’t make me money.

I’ve tried to clear the air with both my son and her about these problems.

I spent hours making a home-cooked meal for a party at my house last night, putting my whole heart into each dish. She said it wasn’t a wonder that I could cook while I was in the kitchen, which meant she thought I didn’t have anything better to do with my time. She made a rude comment about how I must have a lot of free time since I’m always doing hobbies when I showed her my latest art the other day. I was telling how I come up with ideas.

That comment hit me hard, like a slap in the face. I told her she had to respect me or leave my house because I could not take it any longer. I had to ask her to leave because she wouldn’t change, even though she was shocked. Right now, my son is furious with me, and we had a big fight over the whole thing.

Now I want to hear what someone else thinks. What did I do wrong? Am I the one who needs to be blamed? Am I a bad MIL for expecting my daughter-in-law to treat me with respect? If she can’t, is it okay to tell her to leave?

Tips from Bright Side

Hey Susan! Thank you for telling us your story here at Bright Side! We know that things are pretty crazy for you. Here’s what we think:

Open Communication: Do your best to talk to your daughter-in-law in an open and honest way. Tell someone how you feel and what worries you about the comments and actions that are bothering you. You can better understand each other if you have a heart-to-heart talk.
Find Common Ground: Look for things you have in common in order to get closer. Finding something you have in common, like a hobby, a goal you both want to reach, or just spending time together, can help you connect more deeply.
Put Limits On It: Be polite and clear about what you expect and what your limits are. Tell her what kind of behavior you don’t accept and how it makes you feel. Having clear limits can help people get along better with each other.

Family counseling: Think about getting a family counselor or another neutral third party to help you talk things out and give you advice. Hiring a professional can help you settle disagreements and understand each other better within the family.
Empathy and Understanding: Try to see things from her point of view and figure out what drives her. Different people often show themselves in different ways. If you know about her past and experiences, you might be able to figure out how she acts.

Set a good example: Show what you believe in by the way you live your life. Being kind, accepting, and patient is important. Setting a good example can make things better for everyone and encourage others to do the same.

In what ways do you see Susan’s situation? Tell us what you think in the comments! In the meantime, check out another article where a girl’s mother-in-law wanted to join their honeymoon, and her husband surprisingly agreed.