In the modern world, success mostly consists on advancing and trying to fit in. For if you don’t fit in or are a little different from others, you are seen as “abnormal” or “odd.”
This dismal viewpoint on life places far too much emphasis on peer comparison and attractiveness.
Ask Jono Lancaster, a human being who, sadly, has been painfully reminded of how vicious the world can be on a regular basis yet who shares our flesh and blood.
Facebook page of Jono Lancaster
Though born in England in October 1985, Jono Lancaster was not like the other newborns in the hospital.
The peculiar prenatal condition known as Treacher Collins syndrome was the reason for the asymmetrical development of the little boy’s face bones.
Along with his diagnosis, the doctors told Jono’s parents he would most likely never walk or talk. Startled, Jono’s parents felt it was too much and turned him away.
When I was born, my parents were frankly shocked. My hospital release came 36 hours after my delivery. Social services got someone to look after me. Jono remembered the foster carer at the 2015 Nord Conference as Jean.
Just two days old, Jono’s parents disappeared and put him up for adoption. A wonderful woman named Jean Lancaster adopted and raised Jono after the hospital contacted Social Services.
Jean was neither shocked nor scared when she saw the little child. He and she clicked as soon as she took him up. Could I bring him home when? Turning to look at the nurse, Jean questioned.
Jono could not have asked for a better or more loving foster mother; she gave him all the love and care he needed right away.
Though his mother never wavered in her support, Jono’s early years were marked by a lack of understanding from the outside world.
Starting school, Jono started to understand who he was. He quickly noted that he did not resemble his classmates.
I felt alone and as if I was the only one in the world who had my traits. I used to wonder, “Why did I have to end up looking like this?” even if other individuals are lucky enough to win the jackpot or go on to become doctors, attorneys, or professional football players, said in an Adelaide Now interview.
It is important to realize that an IQ of a child with Treacher Collins syndrome has no bearing at all. All that interested his classmates was Jono’s appearance. They would make faces and run away when he would get close, saying they didn’t want to catch his “disease.”
I used to keep how miserable I was from my mother. She has done so much for me already, he remarked in a BBC interview.
But with an incredible woman by his side, Jono refused to give up and let the detractors win.
Foster mother Jean tried to reconnect Jono with his biological parents. But after five years of them answering her letters, on May 18, 1990, she took the next step and adopted Jono.
That means I have two birthdays! “I used to tell other kids that my mom went to the hospital and she looked at all the babies and she chose me, whereas their parents had been stuck with them,” Jono stated at the 2015 Nord Conference.
In a poignant 2015 Facebook post, Jono said he would never forget his foster mother.
“For her small size, this woman has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. Having looked after foster children for thirty years, this mother is extraordinarily kind and giving. This mother would weep every time a foster child moved to a new home because she thought she had let them down in some manner. Though she had no idea what lay ahead, this 40-year-old single mother welcomed me. When this mother adopted me, she also gave me Claire and Stephen, an amazing family. Just when I needed her, this woman—a real angel—came into my life.
Facebook page for Jono Lancaster
The angel goes by Jean, my mother and hero.
Jono became a very rebellious teenager. Every now and again he did things just to draw attention. His real problem was his physical characteristics, which he did to deflect attention from. Sweets and a lot of wine were his attempts to win people over.
“I thought I was by myself.”
But because to Jean’s tenderness and compassion as well as his own inner strength, Jono decided very fast to be a force for good and use his experience to help others.
Thirty-six-year-old Jono has devoted his life to helping people with Treacher Collins syndrome everywhere. He has been heading teams of adults with autism.
When he meets children, he talks to their parents about their situation and gives them hope and support. Now, Jono teaches motivating classes and talks about Treacher Collins disease a lot.
My parents still don’t want anything to do with me, he says. It works so well because of the shift in my thinking. Continued Not a single thing would I change. My attitude was crippling more than anything else. If you think right, you can do anything.
Among Jono’s mentees is two-year-old Zackary Walton of Australia.
Zackary, for all his youth, has already been the victim of bullying. But in Jono, he has a lifelong friend.
“We knew we had to meet him and it’s made us so happy to see Zack meet someone like him,” the boy’s mother Sarah Walton told Adelaide Now.
Beautifully taken, this picture was posted on Facebook in November 2014 when Jono and Zackary first became acquainted.
Mrs. Jono Lancaster
2015 saw Jono meet Laura Richardson while working as a fitness instructor.
Laura came around to Jono’s illness once they fell in love. She welcomed him as he was, and the two of them decided to make everyone around them happy and smiling.
Before he ever got to know Laura, Jono had always thought that he would adopt kids if he ever wanted to start a family.
“My dream job has always been to be a father. I really miss having a father figure in my life, even if my adoptive mother was amazing. I ache for times spent with my father and son. I want to take my child to dancing, gymnastics, football, or the school run—whatever they want,” Jono said to the BBC in 2011.
Any child Jono fathers has a 50% chance of being Treacher Collins. So the whole idea of having a kid of his own set off a series of emotions, moral conundrums, and reflections. While Jono had a very typical birth, many Treacher Collins children suffer from severe medical conditions, and some are born unable to breathe.
Adoption was therefore maybe the wisest decision, Jono reasoned.
I think it’s great to give a child another chance, and it worked really well for me. Laura, however, thinks she will have a strong desire to get pregnant and worries that she won’t be able to care for someone else’s child or that the child will want to find its biological parents. Addition by Jono.
She also wants our child to be ‘our’ child very much. And since I genuinely want to look after her when she gets pregnant, I’ll be the one to come downstairs at two in the morning to sit with her on the sofa or buy her a pickle.
Jono and Laura regretfully never had children. Ten years of marriage later, they decided to split ways and go on. In an Instagram explanation of the decision, Jono wrote:
“Laura and I decided to split ways after ten amazing years together because we weren’t growing as a couple. Nothing about looks mattered; all that existed was mutual respect.
A few of his fans tried to find the positive side of things and showed empathy, giving Jono hope that a shattered relationship can nevertheless end happily.
I think it is impossible to make a breakup sound good. It was really terrible, Jono shot back.
Listen to Jono relate his story in the video below. It won’t elude you, I can promise you of that: