Every parenting approach has its own adherents and admirers. While some parents believe that being firm is crucial, others believe that being compassionate and understanding is even more so. Emma belongs with the second set. She wrote to us online not only to discuss her special approach to parenting but also to seek counsel from other parents, as her parenting style has drawn criticism on many occasions.
Emma decided to end the cycle in her family.
“Hello, I’ve always admired your platform as a reliable source where people freely express their opinions on different topics,” Emma, 38, wrote us in a heartfelt letter. I used to comment on other people’s posts on your page a lot, offering them suggestions and describing my interpretation of the story they were sharing. I now want to hear what your readers think of my son’s situation.
The mother started her account, “My son, Georgie, is eight years old.” It was always clear to me that I wanted children. When I learned I was pregnant, I made the decision to end the pattern in my family by parenting less combatively.
Her mental health suffered because of how her parents raised her.
“Growing up under the strict rule of my parents, I’ve come to understand the consequences of such an authoritarian upbringing,” the woman says, citing her own difficult childhood. It was difficult not only for me but for every member of our family. My self-esteem suffered and I became uneasy from the ongoing tension. My folks and I didn’t get along.
How detrimental this location was to my mental health took years for me to grasp. With age, though, I deliberately tried to overcome these obstacles. Finding the right mix of being understanding and firm in raising children is crucial.
I therefore want to provide my son a secure home where respect, love, and open communication are highly valued. He won’t have to endure what I endured. This isn’t, however, how my spouse believes a child should be raised. Georgie ought to know, in his opinion, what is expected of him and what would happen if he doesn’t.
When he is not sorry, her son never apologizes.
The mother decided to inculcate empathy in her son without forcing him to be kind on purpose. “I’ve decided that I will never make my child say sorry, thank you, or please ever again,” she declares. His mental health will suffer greatly, in my opinion, from this strategy.
“We teach kids to be fake when we make them say sorry even if they don’t mean it,” the mother said in defending her position. If your youngster doesn’t actually feel awful about what they did, that’s OK. Children require time to develop their empathy and awareness of how their deeds impact other people.
Children who are made to apologize for their actions learn that the sentiments of others come before their own. We need some time to collect ourselves after an argument or fury and determine what went wrong. Understanding our role in the problem and owning up to our errors are made easier with this method of thinking.
When we ask children to apologize immediately, we don’t give them time to consider. We further advise them to put the other person first and forget about their own feelings. Adults may develop from this a constant need to please others, difficulty standing up for themselves, and inability to achieve their goals. Georgie doesn’t apologize for things she doesn’t mean to.
Emma writes in her letter of a recent playground incident, “I approached this kid and apologized instead of making him feel bad about Georgie pushing another kid.” Georgie, in my opinion, would pick up manners from witnessing me in that circumstance. According to Emma’s letter, Georgie was admonished to apologize by the child’s mother for this. “She called me ‘A bad and irresponsible mother’ for allowing my son behave this way when I told her that my son wouldn’t apologize because it would traumatize him,” Emma says.
She is treated cruelly by a lot of her friends and relatives.
Emma goes on to say, “What happened at the playground made our argument with my husband about parenting even worst.” His demand on more stringent regulations is not one I share. Someone who want to maintain their own image as a loving parent may hit or treat their child cruelly in order to control them. Perhaps they are afraid or unsure about what to do.
My goal is to walk through life with my son, be his friend, and assist him in comprehending his feelings. This way, the youngster learns about responsibility and independence and how those things impact other individuals. Not that I don’t respect my boss; I just don’t believe my son is superior.
Georgie and I have an already pretty close relationship. I will tell him I need some alone time if I feel overly occupied. As he picks up skills, he will inform me when he needs space.
Emma writes in her letter’s closing, “Even though I’ve always been sure of my parenting choices and seen good results, the constant criticism from my husband and other parents has made me doubt them.” With any luck, any of your viewers can assist me. Which way do you see this?
Watch more down below.
